Why wont you go away?

Is what I am asking myself at the moment. Why is this horrible dirty fat still clinging onto my body when I am eating like, nothing. I will step it up well, today seeing as it's 3am UK time. Not going to school tomorrow.. effort. Depression is getting bad again and I just cba to sleep and then crawl out of bed in the morning. Just no. I think I might do the abc diet from now on.. it sounds simple enough.. will just hurt like a bitch on the low calorie and fasting days. Ahh well, I think my willpower is getting pretty good. I did something really disgusting today though. I came down to the kitchen, and there was like, half a cold pizza sitting on the table. My favourite. Damn it. So, I did the grossest thing ever. I took a big slice and chewed it then spat it all back out. Then washed my mouth with water so it wouldn't get absorbed. Eww.. Anyways, Thank you so much to the people who have been checking out my blog. Feel free to leave me a comment as I really need the support right now! Love you all. Chloe x

Salt Water Flush.

So... I did the salt water flush today. The drinking of the salt water was actually terrible. I felt like I was going to throw up. I think it helps to down it really concentrated in one glass, then drink the other two pints of water (4cups) really quickly. I laid on my RIGHT side for about 40 minutes, to help it go through. My tummy felt really funny, like I had too much sloshing about inside. I was also really bloated. After about 45 minutes, I REALLY needed the loo. Like, more than anything. So yeah, I went to the loo about 8 times in two hours! They tell you not to fart even though it feels like you really need to, as the salt water comes out OF EVERY HOLE. I know, its gross. I feel so much better though! I feel really clean on the inside now, so it's all been worth it. :) I'm going round my boyfriend's house on friday night and helping him move house on saturday. My diet is basically shot to shit. All they eat is chips and beans. It will be tragic. It doesn't help that my boyfriend weighs over 200lbs and WONT STOP EATING. But I love him so I will just have to try my best to stay away from the food. But yahhhhh... hopefully tomorrow will be a good day dieting and depression wise. :) Love you all, Chloe x

Thinspiration.

I found these really gorgeous pictures last night and thought I would share them with everyone :)

Disgusting..

hey.. so this is me at my current weight. It's so gross. You can just see all of the extra flab hanging off me. I actually feel sick looking at this. But hopefully it will give me the motivation to loose the weight faster by posting this disgusting picture on here.

Sorry for grossing everyone out.

Chloe x

Ill

Feeling really ill at the moment. :( Oh and crap.. my boyfriend found out about my blog the other day cos I accidentally left it open.. I am terrified he is going to read it. That would be bad. I don't want him to know how crap I feel about myself, as he might think im weird. Stuck around the 5lb loss mark at the moment.. ate a bit more yesterday cos i was ill. Damn it. Ahh well, wish me luck! Chloe xxx

Not so Electric- feel.

Sorry I am posting a ridiculous amount, but this blog is such a good way of venting and letting out your feelings. Depression is fairly bad today, I feel really crap and I don't know why. But.. one year today since I was last admitted into hospital...wooo! =] Watching South Park.. fucking hilarious! :) Wow... stuck for things to talk about.. so i will stop boring you. Love you all, Chloe x

Results..

Hey. Day 5 of my diet and it hasn't gone too bad. Only lost three pounds but im easing myself into it. That weight loss ticker thing is so motivating, so I would recommend anyone trying to loose weight to get one. So ill at the moment though, little brother has given everybody in the house his bug. :( Depression not so bad at the moment as I've been doing lots of running which releases endorphins :) For anyone trying to loose weight, I have been looking at the Flat Belly Solution for basic food tips on what I should and shouldn't be eating. I have no idea whether it had contributed to my weight loss, btu I am certinally more conscious about what I am putting into my body. But yeah, I will keep trying really hard with my weight loss and keep the blog updated on my progress. Chloe x