Monday, December 19
Wednesday, August 24
Friday, June 10
Thursday, June 9
Wednesday, June 8
Tuesday, June 7
Monday, June 6
Wednesday, May 25
Tuesday, May 17
Wednesday, May 11
The pain hurts so much.
I want to die.
I can't talk to anyone else, they are all against me.
I almost don't want anyone else to read this, but i have to get it all out.
My body aches with hurt.
Broke up with M today.
Just added to the pain.
There are pills next to my bed.
A bottle of whiskey in my drawer.
A full bottle.
Should I take them?
If yes, then bye my loves, you almost kept me sane.
Tuesday, May 10
Monday, May 9
Saturday, May 7
Friday, May 6
Wednesday, May 4
Tuesday, May 3
Thursday, April 28
Monday, April 25
My depression is so bad at the moment, I was thinking about suicide again earlier. It would just be so much better than living. And it would be so easy.
We have loads of guns in our house, and I know exactly where the keys and the bullets are. Shotgun straight to the head. Simple. Blood and bits of my brain splattered all over the wall. and I would feel nothing. Bliss.
Today was crap. Went up to the Rugby Club. My little brother was training and having end of season awards. Ran into my ex, Joe. It wasn't too awkward. He is such a player that we just flirt the whole time we are with eachother. So yeah, bit of flirty banter flying about.
I ate like a fucking pig today. I skipped breakfast. Then, at the awards part, they laid out a huge spread of food. :(
2 triangles of cheese sandwiches.
a bit of pasta and rice.
Some cheesy balls.
Some carrot and dip.
2 slices of rocky road.
Wow.. that is like, a zillion calories :(
Then, instead of being a good girl and working it all off, my depression made me so sleepy that I just went straight to bed. Good one. -_-
For dinner I had porridge.
Sunday, April 24
1 handful of honey roasted cashew nuts. (183 kcals)
- 1 tiger roll. (131 kcals)
- cheese. (200kcals)
- Veg. (20 kcals)
So that comes to... 534 calories.
Shiiiiiit man. Someone is working out a lot tonight!
I dunno what to have for dinner. Maybe salad or something. or nothing, I don't deserve it.
anyways, off to work out.
Right, went and binged on cereal (135 kcals) and Jelly (97 calories) and hot chocolate (38 calories)
Which brings my total today to.. 804 calories.
BUT.. I went running for a bit and burnt off 1000 calories, plus did lots of walking.
Soo.. im on.. -196 calories or so for today.
Good one Chloe :)
Friday, April 22
Thursday, April 21
Saturday, April 16
Thursday, April 14
Wednesday, April 13
Tuesday, April 12
- Porridge with a teaspoon of Nutella (as I really hate porridge). (300)
- half a can of low fat vegetable soup and half a sliceof bread. (150)
- 30g of couscous, sme cucumber, and some sweetcorn. (220)
- 2 bananas. (260)
Hmm.. thats a lot of food :(
I burnt off 500 calories on the running machine today.. it only took me 30 minutes which means I have reduced my time by 6 minutes from yesterday, and 17 minutes since I started my diet. not too shabby! :)
So therefore my food intake was: 930?! Holy shit.
but.. -500 for the exercise is..
Total of 430 calories.
That's not too bad.
I will do better tomorrow though, only ate cos the boyfriend was round and wnt let me skip meals.
Stay skinny girls!
Monday, April 11
Sunday, April 10
Friday, April 8
Thursday, April 7
Wednesday, April 6
Tuesday, April 5
Saturday, April 2
Tuesday, March 29
- A small bowl of cereal.
- 10 almonds.
- an apple,
- a sweet potato and peas.
I don't think that's too bad for the first day..
I know I can do better though.. just have to try and cut calories whenever and wherever I can..
Tai chi tomorrow! Buzz buzz! :)
Thanks for reading,
Friday, March 25
I desperatly need to loose weight.. went on a 5 mile run today.. feel a tiny bit less gross. still gross though.
Depression not too bad today.. still get odd bouts. Dad said he would give me the keys to the gun cabinet next time so I could actually do a good job of it. K.
keep me strong,
Wednesday, March 23
I don't know how I'm going to deal with this diet.. it's going to be really hard. I can't believe how fat I have let myself become. :( Ahh well.. no one's fault but mine I guess. Now I have to face the consequences. Buzzing -_-
Wish me luck!
I will keep you informed on my progress when I start :)